This being Monday and all, I’d love to be the bearer of better news. And at least part of me hopes you’ve all heard that somewhere else first to soften the blow.

When I first heard the concept that someone would actually remake “The Birds,” I just assumed it was some kind of urban legend. No one would really do that, would they?

Well, as has happened at least once before, it seems I’m wrong. I hope Martin Campbell lives a faraway duration and makes a lot more movies, considering it’s gonna take a heck of a lot of good karma to survive that.

Until now he’s had a good ample run. “Casino Royale” was the best Bond movie in many, many years, and his “Zorro” sequel was fun abundant. The ride stops, however, stops when he puts his hands on Hitchcock.

Here, as far as I can muster from the French site Cinempire.com, are the details: The bold fools who will write that abomination for Campbell are Paul Harris Boardman and Scott Derrickson (the team that wrote “The Exorcism of Emily Rose,” a surprisingly entertaining flick.) In case you haven’t vomited from all that yet, brace yourself, considering it only gets worse.

What do you do when you know you’re taking on a remake that should never even be started? signal it a “re imagining,” of course. The previously fairly talented Todd McFarlane is doing the same thing with “The Wizard of Oz,” unless I rather quickly develop a talent like Maya’s on “Heroes” and can do the world a big favor by taking all these idiots out (stay tuned, by the way, for much better news about “Heroes” in the next segment.)

And, worst of all about that madness: Naomi Watts is at least rumored to be in negotiations to fill the shoes of Tippi Hedren (who, I was pleasantly surprised to find, is still alive and kicking.) whether she still has the energy at age 77, I would hope she’d use her foot on Ms. Watts’ additionally rather pleasant posterior to kick abundant sense into her

to get her to just say no to that.

Whew. That’s a lot of bile for a Monday wee hours, so how about some much better news about another blonde I like even more than Naomi?

Veronica Mars on “Heroes” tonight!

Just typing that was decent to build me smile, so I indeed hope I have that right. I’ve enjoyed hearing Kristen Bell’s voice on “Gossip Girl” (yes, I’ll confess it, I watch that), but it will be so much better to see her face again too on “Heroes.”

As far as I can tell from the commercial, she’s pursuing Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventamiglia) for some reason. The best NBC could come up with for a tagline was “what capability will she have?” I would have at least added “Veronica Mars back on TV? F*** yeah!) A bit misleading, perhaps, but much more effective. Definitely tune in tonight.

More incredibly poor news

Sorry to alternate like that, but I’m still not fully awake, to be honest.

What’s worse than a thoroughly unnecessary remake? In my book it would have to be these so-called “spoof” movies that won’t just die. Apparently abundant public (though hopefully no one reading this) went to see “The Comebacks” in week one that it made nearly $6 million. Not a ton, I guess, but probably ample to justify it’s excremental existence.

Can it get any worse? After you watch that clip, you’ll know the reply is definitely yes. I won’t spoil it for you, considering it’s something you have to see to believe. I’ll just leave you with a few questions. whether you steal complete scenes from a flick, when does it stop being a “spoof” and just become a crime? And, not that I want to see her more often, but does Carmen Electra have a contract that only allows her to star in these flicks?. Anyways, I won’t delay your agony any further. visit on the video whether you dare, and please, please, remember I’m just the messenger. Peace out.

Original post by Reel Fanatic