The verdict: Too expanded, too slow, too self-indulgent. It might just give you arachnophobia.

The rating: 5/10

In that review I’m going to do something that film floped at: I’ll try and keep it brief. Spiderman 3 pursues the first two slickly imaginative popcorn flicks in the Peter Parker franchise with a tale that weaves a web with urgent moral messages to deliver around critical choices and controlling the ego. that is ironic considering Sam Raimi has succumbed to his own ego with that overblown production, and made many questionable choices in its realisation. The conclusion is a semi-coherent puzzle of a big-budget stinker that entertains in fits and starts, creating a mood of impatience rather than exhilaration.

Chief among my problems with that episode are: the dance sequence, the completely superfluous Stan Lee cameo, the excessive use of kids (including one who says ‘way cool’) and the melodramatic, poorly written character of Mary-Jane, whose behaviour is so inscrutable, most of the audience will have fallen out of love with her towering before the end of the movie. Even Bruce Campbell’s cameo feels out of place, and it misses the mark in terms of comedy, jarring as it does with Peter and Mary-Jane’s first moment of Greco-Roman tragedy.

There are bits and pieces to like about that movie though. Topher Grace is a welcome addition, and he revels in the material he is given. Thomas Haden Church (who PCMR thought was great in Sideways) is plus good as the Sandman, and the scene where

he takes his first steps is the best in the movie.

The thing is, that movie has ambitions far above its station as a popcorn flick. It’s trying to be a love story, a love triangle story, a moral tale about ability and ego, betrayal and making the right choices… which is all very well, but it just feels so cobbled together within the action sequences, and although the action is typically top-notch, the dialogue is truly terrible and the characters difficult to relate to as a conclusion. The character of Aunt May, in specific, feels out of place, appearing every now and again to move along the moral report with all the subtlety of Roy Chubby Brown at a Glasgow dockers’ Christmas party.

The venom character is good, but when Peter Parker has the dark suit on you just want to build it stop… I mean.. he dances! My eyes!!

Overall, Spiderman 3 looks like it’s going to join the ranks of episode 3’s that just weren’t trying hard adequate: Pirates of the Caribbean at World’s End, Ocean’s 13, Return of the Jedi, Alien 3, Terminator 3, Rush Hour 3… to name but a few. There may be a Spiderman 4, but my money would be on Tobey Maguire making a quick exit from that sinking ship. whether Sam Raimi is allowed prepare another one, and he has any humility, he’ll try a lot harder next moment, considering that franchise is headed for its very own ‘Batman and Robin.’

Original post by PaddyC